There's only 1 team in Yorkshire!!!!!

This is the Official Emblem of my home town Football team, Doncaster rovers. Times had been pretty shitty from about 1998 to 2003. The old Chairman Ken Richardson sold my club down the river. He had 3 Geordie scallies torch the ground because the Council wouldn't sell him it , sour fucking grapes or what. We must've had at least 5 managers that season ending in relegation from the Football league to the shit pit conference. 2 Yrs later we got a saviour. His name is John Ryan. Now for those of you who aren't aware who Melinda Messenger is i shall tell you. She was a Sun Page 3 Girl ( quite a large pair cyril , i say quite a large pair, ooo er missus). John Ryan owned a plastic surgery company. He paid for her op. So Donnys' hero is a plaggy surgeon. Who gives a shit what he is!!
With his money and the managing of Dave Penny Donny made it made back into the FL via a very tense play off.
Next season all us Donny fans wanted was to stay up. We only went and battered every team . We were champions!!! Holy f*****g god knows what!!!
Cue this season. We are now in the old 2nd Division, LEAGUE ONE.

We got a huge draw in the 1st round of the Carling cup against Manchester City ( Premier League). We only beat them on penalties. 2nd round i'm now praying for a mighty club to get us. We get Gillingham!!! ( huge sigh). We beat them 2-0 last Wednesday.
Guess what? The 3rd round draw was earlier this morning.










AND????




We only got Aston Villa at home ( get up off the floor Andy)


Bring on the Villa.
Prediction?

2-0 Donny.

Real prediction ok ok.


Rovers win after Extra time.

I LOVE YOU DONNY AND I LOVE YOU ROVERS!!!!!!!!!

PS the unsung heroes in all of this are 2 brothers who have never tried hogging any of the limelight. Doncasters very own Snodin Brothers. Penney called and you both came!!

Takes humble bow to Ian and Glyn.

Like i said i love my Town.

AWWWWW HOW SWEET

Take a look at America's newest singin sensation " Prussian Blue".
They are 13 year old twins Lynx & Lamb Gaede.
They play the violin and guitar. Something then hit me about the picyure i was looking at in thesun.co.uk . The T Shirts had smiley Adolf Hitler faces on them!!! WTF???
Well apparently they sing about all sorts of things. Teenage angst, boys,school ya know the normal stuff they should be singing about. Hell no. They sing about Rudolf Hess. The song is called sacrifice and in turn the lyrics describe "EVIL" Hess as " a man of peace" who " wouldn't cease to give his loyalty to our cause".
Their mother took them out of normal school at an early age and basically shoved her redneck nazi facist morals down her sweet daughters throats.
Talented and special some say. Scary as fuck say i!!
Lynx told ABC news " We want to stay white. We don't want to be,you know, a big muddle.We want to preserve our race".
Ok for starters it isn't a race of many. It's called the Human Race. It's not the straw chewing , incest infested, archaic klu klux, jarwolling race of fucking hillbillys race.




DEEP BREATHS ---------- count to ten.

Only in America. A place i have recently been to and my what a place. It was an unbelievable experience. The Gaede Twins however give the heart and soul of America's kind and good natured people a massive uphill struggle. How can a country be so divided??
Here in England we have the Nth Sth divide ( get to f**k you cockney wankers!!! ha ha ) .
Racial tension is definately getting more, well , tense. Birmingham saw rioting between Asians and Caribbeans. There's the 7/7 bombings in London. I know from my own personal experiences her in flatasfuckland that it's getting worse. I think we'll leave that one well alone!!

( Gives pat on own back)

So how long will it be before some anti-nazi group murder these 2 young girls for only believing in what their Guardian in life truthfully ( from her scummy point of view) brought them up on.
I hope you rot in fucking hell April Gaede and get ********** ( <<<<< naughty word) by a very well endowed black man on the way.

While we're at it here's my Top 5 of people i don't care too much for

In a Tony Blackburn or Jimmy Saville voice,

1) The man with the same initials as me ( no relation) Adolf Hitler.

2) The so called iron lady , now a baroness who never found it strange that her son Mark was exchanging scud missiles and sea to air heatseakers with friends in between eating butterfly buns and cheesey scones on his 11th birthday, It's Maggie Thatcher.

3) The man who co-orchestrated the downfall of the Coal Mines/Pits in England with the above named c**t One of the worlds best double agents, Arthur ( You scabby bastard ) Scargill.

4) This isn't one person, it's many and he shall be known as "Mr Terrorist".

5) The Jackass of all Jackasses. George W Bush. If it wasn't for you England would never have gone to Iraq. 7/7 Would never have happened. Even further back ( sorry for this David) if you hadn't have made it possible for 911 to have gone ahead ( i know you had some part in that you fucking bastard) then none of these things would've happened.

I'm here all week!!!!

French F**K UP

So do you wanna see an absolutely unbelievable penalty miss? click on http://home.skysports.com/broadband.asp?showclip to see robert Pires massive ballsup
( one word)

Captain Sensible

Remember Rooney getting sent off for sarcasticly clapping the Referee after recieving a yellow card??

Well not long after Rooney proceeded to tell Captain Dave Beckham to FUCK OFF after he got sent off again for England. Apparently DB bollocked him and told him that this behaviour was not allowed on a football field. In appreciation Rooney went to the Bernabeau to watch DB and allegedly to offer an olive branch.
News had it that all went well until Captain fucking Sensible got sent off last night for sarcastically applauding the Referees' decision.

Nice one Dave you fucking knobend!!

My 2 favourite hated

#1

Ok ,so for those of you who don't know me let me tell you. I am 1 of two brothers brought up by a single parent mother ( sorry with help from my amazing grandmother - mamma) in a pit village in South Yorkshire. In BENTLEY there was an infestation of a group that i used to call GYPO'S. The gypo's were mainly pretty ok. I went to school with a family of them who lived a stones throw away. For this story i shall refer to them as the SMITHS!!!!!.
Now the smiths consisted of Brenda ( the mum) , can't remeber dads' name, Paul ( a year younger than britblogger), Marion ( 2 yrs older than me and as hard as fuck) and the twins ( my age) Philip and Tony). Now whenever any physical confrontation occured then i am afraid to say that the individual was not allowed to fight his or hers' own battles. It was at best a free for fucking all. These individuals were about as hard as wet fucking snow but because of that they stuck into anyone no matter what, AS A FUCKING FAMILY I KID YOU NOT!!!
So family is good i hear you say , ok it is but why not let your brother or sister fight their own battles. FUCKING PUSSIES!!!. I can go on and on and on and on about gypo's as Doncaster was once the Gypo capital of Britain.

I hate Gypo's.

#2

I was 17 at the time and me and my friends had just been to our local , The Good Companions.
We had got tanked up and were on a mission to the mecca of nightlife. TOWN. I had had a few ales and could put quite a bit away then ( stop sniggering David). We were on our way to the nightclub on Silver Street ( can i hell remember the name of it then, maybe The Ritzy) when we were walking past The Danum Hotel. I somehow managed to almost swallow my cigarette and basically coughed my guts up. Unbeknowing to me there was aPolice riot Van only a few yards away. I coughed and spluttered but continued my 20 Mtr walk from the Danum to The Ritzy.
We queued up dying to get in cos it was freezing outside when all of a sudden a Police Van screeched to a halt right outside the queue. One of the occupents jumped out his side like his life was depending on it and suddenly came at me!! . What the fuck!!! He grabbed me and i shit you not , by the throat and physically dragged me to the back of the Van. He asked me if i thought i was hard cos i had made pig type noises when i walked past " his motor"!!!

I told him these words which will live with me forever, " i have done nowt wrong so leave me alone". Not horrible to live with but if i had my strength now then this is how it would've gone. " Get your filthy fucking trotting nazi hands off me you scummy facist racist pig c**t".
He proceeded to tighten his more strong grip and threw me to the kerbs edge. My mates deserted me, the bouncer told me to " fuck off". I went home pissed off as fuck.

I now hate Gypo's and Pigs. sorry i'll rephrase that for you Porky and Babe. I HATE COPPERS.

Now i have just come to learn that a person i know was shot at by a Gypo. The Police came and did absolutely FUCKING NOWT except shit their fucking Alan Whickers. I hate Gypos' for being a menace to society. But i hate the Scum even more for letting them.

Anyhoo todays' been a good day, I've been decorating. Faye's tummy is bigger and i still can't wait.

Mam i have just realised that you never knew about that. Sorry i never told you or Bruce but i had to deal with it myself. I felt pretty ashamed even though i did nothing wrong. Now you know why i curse them.

Sorry.

Not guilty? Still an idiot !!!

When will they ever learn their lesson? All the wealth , money and fame that the modern footballer gets today and they still can't behave. Okay so he may not be guilty of raping a girl as alleged on the 1st October in a posh Penthouse suite of a London Hotel.
Just recap a minute. The Beckhams' lives are subjected to horrible slurs and lies daily.
George Best travels and drinks down his local.
Roy Keane goes to a club , gets a drink thrown over him.
Rio can't be arsed to turn up for a drugs test ( must be his shit fucking hairdo blurring his brain).
Lee Hughes ( ex West Brom ) kills a motorist in a RTA and then runs off!!!
Maradonna shoots at police outside his home while high on crack ( i hate you for Mexico '86 you fat fucking twat).
David Pleat gets spotted kerb crawling.
Bowyer and Woodgate kick 10 bells of shit outta Asian in Leeds after getting wankered.
Sven dicks anything with a pulse ( I wish he'd fuck Peter Crouch................... OFF!!!! )
etc , etc , etc
See a pattern forming do we. Fuck yes i say. All these people and many many more not mentioned have in some way or another put themselves in the spotlight.
These are people who earn unbelievable amounts of money. Imagine you're sat at home. You have trained 3 times this week, played a Premiership game at home in front of 66k people.
You know that the press will batter your ringpiece all over the morning news if you go out on the lash.
Do you,,
A) Say " Fuck this for a game of soldiers i'm off down the boozer".
B) Stay in and beat the meat to the " clapping sound" of your national anthem.
C) Get some beer in from the local offy , watch a game and go to bed dreaming of singing the National anthem at the New Wembley
OR DO YOU
D) Go to an Expensive hotel ( not anywhere near your destination thus risking the wrath of your manager) pick up 2 girls ( they're goldiggers Christiano!!!) and bang their brains out with your Portugese love truncheon knowing that if one of them so much as breaks a nail on your spotty face then she'll see you in Court resulting in the Gaffer scoffing on your balls again.

I like B I like B.
If you answered A you need to get a life.
If you answered B then this shows that you have national pride but wank far too much .
If you answered C then Wey Hey you're the 1st sensible footballer.
If you answered D then " Oh fuck Christiano , if you get off with Rape charges Fergie will be waiting at Old Trafford to ship your skinny arse back to Lisbon.

Either way sonny you're FUCKED!!!

My day!!

This is how my day goes.

Alarm clock wakes me up ( and Faye too sometimes)

Cats meeeeow like feck outside waiting for Daddy to feed them lucious tasting dry biscuits.
Walk downstairs, flick on kettle feed babies!!
Drink coffee and smoke a tab at the back door.
Wash body,hair and nether regions.
Get dressed.
Go to work.

Damn forgot toilet visit . That comes after coffee and smoke. ( without fail as regular as clockwork)


Arrive at work. ( long pause- just remembered i am on bastard call!!!)
Work with some really good people( Grumpy, Cazzer , Ariel, Mrs Johnson and Steak 'n Sidley( that's what i said diddle i) to name a few.
Deal with a few eejots too who spend most of their time trying to get out of doing any work.
Slight diversion........
There are 5 types of people at my workplace.

1) People who i respect and enjoy working with
2) People who i respect
3) People who i enjoy working with
4) Wasters who take the fucking piss ( you know who you are)
5) Dinosaurus willneverchangeus cosweisfuckingmoronus! ( did you like that one Roy?)

9.30 roll lady cometh( mmmmm hot butties and coke, sorry people)
Finish work about 3ish.
Come home.
Partake in surfing the web for a bit.
Shower
Faye cooks tea ( not a bad cook at all Faye)
Telly
Bed
Alarm fucking clock again.
I do have further activities.
Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings i help Mrs Johnson ( Spence that is) with a kiddies football team ( me loves it ) the kids are great.

WTF??

Right i can't hold it in any longer!!

If i offend you or your religion then tough fucking shit sunshine. Just take a look at the picture of all these Muslims praying to God. ( If there is a God, which i think exists as much as intelligence , integrity and honesty does in the Oval Office, then i believe there's just one. Not one called Allah , Jehova, Jesus, Jimmy,or even fucking Timothy??).

After such devestation these devout people still pray to a God ( a god who must've caused the deaths- apparently he does most things, except answer twatting prayers!!) I really do envy people who show this devotion to someone they have never met, spoken to and got to know for a while and solidify a friendship into something dead special. Yeah like fuck i do. I worship only a few. Britblogger, me mam( ahhhhhh) Brucey baby chips n gravy,me Mamma and of course my wonderful wife and the baby she carries. Am i a loony? Nah, i love these people for a few reasons. They don't let any harm come to the others. If harm comes their way then protection and guidance is given. Love is endless and love we get from one another without thinking. Advice, honesty etc etc etc etc . Over my 29 yrs ( nearly 30) i have found that these are my sort of Gods. We interact with one another , share converstions , listen and respect each other. Now look at the picture again. Will these people gain solice and comfort and more importantly get any answers from their God?

I truly feel lucky that i am not part of this natural disaster in any way.
I feel truly sad that ( in my opinion) no answers or explanation from their God will ever be given as to why he ( they believe) he did this unspeakable act.

Again , i am sorry if i offended anyone ( no swearing this time), but i had to say it.

My heart goes out to all in Pakistan.

Angry Kid

Has anyone ever watched Angry Kid?? Jesus Christ this is hilarious. It's a cartoon Animation about the life of a rude , crude , inquisitive kid , who's angry and has an ability to make me piss my pants every time i watch him. Wanna see?
http://brainlock.org/vids/demos08.htm
If by any chance you do not find these funny in the slightest then i suggest you check your pulse cos if you aint dead then you must have the sense of humour of a fucking fenman!! ( ooo arrr maaaate iyl be avin a guest ale!!!)

Did i just see a willy Faye?

Faye had her 20 week scan brought forward last Friday.
She had her triple test and the test showed signs of posible eclampsia. This means that later on during the pregnancy the placenta may not be able to provide the baby with everything it needs for it's development. It can , if left, cause serious harm to the baby and Faye. But if caught early the baby and mother stand a great chance of being fine. At this stage it's just purely precautionary so i'm not that worried.

So , the scan. well this scan was so much more precisionary. The midwife scanned everything in more detail. The Heart ( man that was something seeing the baby's heart pump) , kidneys, spinal collumn and even electrical activity in the baby's brain. She even managed to measure the length of the baby's limbs.
however what i am 99.9% sure of is that i caught sight of possibly " another limb". As the scan moved over the tummy i am so sure i saw a little willy.
Before you say " Andy that was probably the umbilical cord" i can tell you that as the scan was taking place i kept asking, ( quite clever of me i think) is that still the umbilical cord?. I reckon she caught on to me but i never asked any direct questions so she probably respected that.

If we do have a boy i will be overjoyed. A Girl?? Just as happy, as long as my baby and Faye are healthy and able to see the joy on my face then a happy man i'll be.

If you look at the top scan then you can see my little 'un with it's head to the side , eyes showing, ( welling up again).

Finally for those of you who don't already know, our local Hospital do not tell you the sex of the baby for reasons i shall not go into.

We will however be going to a private Hospital not too far away to find this out.
In the meantime say a quiet prayer for Faye and baby, i do every day.